HAPPY NEW YEAR–

 
We are almost through the Christmas season. The Christmas tree is packed away. Space has been organized to accommodate the new items received as presents. Hopefully, the credit card bill isn’t so high that you have a heart attack. The winter solstice has passed so the days are getting longer. The weather is in it’s pattern of several cold days and then several warmer days.
 
Now is the time that we come down from the sugar high and over eating. In other words, life returns to normal. Now is the time that those ugly, negative self-talk words start creeping in our heads. “I’m ugly because I gained 5 pounds over Christmas.” “I’m total creeped out that Uncle whomever was at the Christmas get together. He has roman hands. I couldn’t get away from him fast enough. I didn’t like how he treated the other women in my family. Why do we put up with it?” “Aunt whomever really wanted to get too close to me and touch me–yuck? She was trying to kiss and hug all of the men.” “At the stroke of midnight my boy friend, girls friend, husband, wife told me they are breaking up or filing for divorce.” “What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I find anyone who will love me?”
 
These types of thoughts do not have to get you down. There is help to combat this negative type of thinking. Your health insurance has a list of counseling providers that can help you. You can search for counselors on the internet. You do not need to be in distress.
 
Give yourself the best Christmas present ever–improved mental health. Don’t settle for the status quo.
 
You can PM me if you would like to meet with me.

Christmas Survival

Merry Christmas Everyone—

I have needed to use some of my Holiday Survival Tips. I arrived in Spring, TX on December 23. My sister and I were out doing some shopping. We were in my SUV but I had her driving since I don’t see well in the dark. All of a sudden on a very busy my 2019 vehicle stops dead. We had a guardian angel in a man who offered to push us into a grocery store parking lot. First call was for a jump start. It took him over and hour to get there. The vehicle wouldn’t kept running so he said I needed to get it towed. The tow truck arrive in another hour. My type dealership didn’t accept after hours drop offs so my SUV was towed to the company lot. They delivered it to the dealer that was closing early. They could look at it until yesterday. They had to order a part from m Dallas— a little irony here because I’m from the DFW area but was visiting in the Houston area. They did get the part today and then needed a spark p,us. They took a spark plug from a new vehicle like mind that was delivered today.

I’m waiting to hear that they got it fixed. My family was there come up to Fort Worth to see me today. Instead we are in plan B. We are going to stay in a hotel so the girls can have breakfast in the morning. We are going to a movie.

There are so many things that could have gotten me and my sister tensed up. I believe fish and family stink after 3 days. Today is day 4. My sister and her husband work from home so I need to be transported between their clients. I’m a very independent person and don’t like to impose on people. I could have gotten in the mindset of “this ALWAYS happens to me” Or they are going to think I’m imposing on them. My sister assured me I’m not. Or I think could think everything is ruined because my girls aren’t going to be at grandma’s house over Christmas. It’s not ruined. We are just going to plan B.

Professionals in the counseling business need to apply the cop g skills we teach our clients so we don’t get all amped up with negative thoughts either.

I hope everyone has a Happy New Year

However if the new year blahs creep in be sure to contact a mental health professional for assistance.

Gay A, Hunter, M.Div., LPC-S

Ditch the Lie Counselng

9209 Christopher Circle

Fort Worth, Tex 76140

817-996-8517

Holiday Survival Tip 9

Avoid the shouldas, wouldas and couldas. Or the fancy  name is ruminating.

An example from my life is last night my sister and I were driving in my car to run some errands. She was driving and all of a sudden my car quits right in the middle of traffic. Bless the dear man who offered to push into a parking lot. I called the Kia roadside assistance and found out my free membership ran out on September 30 so I had to pay for the jump start and then the towing out of pocket. I had changed my cell plan so didn’t have my ATT roadside assistance anymore.

i could have beat myself up about this. Instead I realized that if I added up all of the monthly charges for a plan, the amount I paid for for the services was probably less than the total of monthly payments. The catch was it had the be paid in a lump sum.

Today is Christmas Eve. The dealership is only open until 10:30 a. m. I got the tow service called so the car can get over there before that. It will be Wednesday before they can look at it. Guess I won’t be heading home at 10 on Wednesday morning.

I’m grateful that this happened in Spring, TX and not when I was on the road somewhere between Spring and Fort Worth. I’m with family and I’m safe and warm. My schedule isn’t going as planned but it will work out.

i am still going the have a wonderful Christmas with my family. I’m not going through let th shouldas, wouldas or couldas creep in a spoil my joy.

Merry Christmas to everyone

Gay

Holiday Survival Tip 8

Here is a situation that can cause us some real problems—misconceptions— distorting existing information making it greater or smaller reality.  How about the anticipation of getting a flu shot. We hear stories about people getting one and coming down with the flu, hear stories about the shot site becoming and achy.  So you put off getting one. Then you go in and get the shot— no sore arm—no getting sick. The next thing you think is “why did I get so upset about that. It was a piece of cake.” Continue reading

Holiday Survival Tip #7

CBT thinking error–Tunnel Vision-seeing only the subset of information that confirms your point of view.
Have you ever met a new love and other people tell you to be careful, maybe the person was violent with an ex, breaks the law, etc. The new love may admit to the violence with an ex but says it was the other person’s fault. He/she declares that with you it will be different. You are the only person who understands him/her. Even when you get hit the first time, you tell yourself it was your fault, he/she really didn’t mean it. Your love comes back and apologizes. He/she said the/she loves me. He brought flowers or jewelry. You just know if you love him/her just right, he/she will change. You believe the lie that you are different from the others. At the end of the relationship you bring up the loving things he/she said, and the love says “you believed that s**t?
We hang on to the few days that were good hoping they increase when in fact they decrease.
If you are in such a situation, please contact a mental health professional to help you build up your strength to get out. You are a valuable child of God and deserve to be treated with respect.
If you are in the DFW, you can schedule with met at http://www.ditchetheliecounseling.com

Holiday Survival Tip -6

As always thank you cognitive behavioral therapy-Emotional reasoning–trusting your gut or instincts without any basis of fact. How many of us have known someone or we have decided our current love is cheating on us. In this situation he/she was really working late–no hanky–panky going. The person keeps ragging on the loved one, telling them they are lying. Until one day the person thinks “he/she thinks I’m having an affair, so I might as well do it”. Then the relationship goes down the tubes. So what if the person was having an affair, accusing them of having an affair is not going to bring them back. That may be time to take a good hard look at the relationship and realize it has hit it’s expiration date. Sometimes we are supposed to be with someone only for a season. That’s okay.
 
As they used to say on the show TV Dragnet–“just the facts, ma’am.” It really is better to make a decision based on facts.
 
If you have yourself upset because your gut feelings are on a roll, please get with a mental health professional to help you relieve your distress,
 
I’m located in the DFW area and have openings.
Gay Hunter ditchtheliecounseling.com

Holiday Survival Tip 5

–thanks to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy–overgeneralization–assuming a single event will become a life long pattern. Have you ever messed up a recipe, maybe someone said something and because of that one mishap you never made that recipe again? The thoughts can go from–“I can’t cook one particular dish” and expand to “I can’t cook.” Or you take one skiing lesson and aren’t ready for a black diamond slope immediately so the thought is, “I’m not a good skier.” We will quit activities because we mess up one time and expand it to a global statement that we aren’t any good at anything.
 
One way to help yourself is to stop, ask yourself “is what I’m thinking realistic or helpful.” If it isn’t, then restate the situation. I.E. “I messed up on the mashed potatoes one time. Before that I had made mashed potatoes numerous and got compliments on them. One time of putting too much salt in them doesn’t make me a bad cook.”
 
To help yourself not get caught in this trap, you can contact a mental health professional before the holidays so you can get through the holidays without so much stress. Yes,we mental health professionals are around after the holidays to help pick up the pieces but why get yourself in the mess in the first place. You can have lower stress holidays.
 
Gay Hunter, LPC-S
ditchtheliecounseling.com